I just got finished reading all of my old journals. Back then, I seemed really happy and care free. And I remember being happy. I didn't care what my art was like, as long a I had fun and was with my friends. I remember also making other people happier to. When they were down I could make them happy. What happened to that? I use to just smile through unhappy times and went on. Why can't I do it know? Is this how growing up is suppose to be? Are you suppose to become more unhappy as you grow old? I've lost so many friends, many of my good ones. I miss them ;_; I hate myself. I wished happy birthday to every friend I had and made them gifts. I told people every little thing good about them and made them laugh. I look at myself now and don't see myself. I try to become myself again, but I just want to be left alone. I'm dieing inside, it feel like it. ;_; Is anyone there....?